Car Names

Over dinner Gene mentioned that he had yet to think of a name for the new Neon. Now, I have never considered myself even remotely a "car" person, so the idea of naming cars seems foreign. However on retrospection I like the idea. We then pondered the names of the four cars we have gone through in the last two months. They are as follows:

The original Alero - navy blue, bought in college, had its own theme song written by a close friend. I determined that the first Alero was a boy - no strike that a MAN. He had balls. He got me through two feet of unplowed snow, over many curbs, through numerous trips back and forth from Chicago, and even saved Gene from even remotely being injured in a crash that ultimately took the Alero's life - the friggin' car died to save us. It's a man. Henceforth it shall posthumously be named --- Buddy --- because that's what he was, my buddy. Buddies see you through thick and thin, stand up for you, and would give everything for you -- and that's what he did. My good pal - Buddy.

The granny mobile - 1989 Topaz - off-white, with significant rust, bought for a $1 from my great-grandmother. Gene determined that the Topaz was, in a previous life, a cranky old lady. She growled, fought, but got the job done. When Gene hit the accelerator, he almost heard it saying, "Alright, alright I'm getting there. Just hold your horses, sonny!" But as with most cranky old ladies she had some, umm "feminine problems," but she had real vim and vigor. This was no wilting flower - this was a hard working pioneer granny, who had already seventeen long and cold North Iowa winters, and was well past her prime. Henceforth, the Topaz shall be named --- Frances --- because she smoked hard, lived long, and died honorably. A tough old bird - Frances.

The new Alero - fire engine red, practically new, with a spoiler - yah. I determined that the new Alero had Attitude. Not just attitude, but Attitude - with a capital A. This kind of attitude can only come from one type of person - a black woman who is unashamed of who she is and from where she comes. I'm talking three-inch, blood red acrylic talons on her upraised, pointed, and ever waving fingers. This is the kind of car that says, "Oh, no you didn't!" and then tells you to talk to the hand. She reads Oprah's book club and still wonders when Stella will get her groove back - again. Henceforth, the new Alero will be named --- Letitia --- because every once in a while you need a good reality check by a heavy-set black woman. Someone you don't want to mess with - Letitia.

and finally

The Neon - plain-ass white, with a spunky green stripe, damn good deal. Gene has only had the Neon for - oh two days - so he isn't as familiar with it yet. Still, he has determined that it's either a flamboyantly gay man, or a pathetically horny nerd - which, come to think of it, could be one and the same. When sitting behind cars at stop lights, he does tend to "lurch" forward. He is always more than willing to "get up and go" - and we don't mean to the gym. It can be somewhat temperamental, but he thinks that is just hormones - either estrogen or testosterone - not sure which yet. We'll say more once we figure out if he likes Letitia or other Neons better. Henceforth, he shall be named --- Trevor --- because he's either in love with interior decorating or his TI-85. With one foot in and one foot out of the closet - Trevor.